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19 July 2012 @ 08:13 am
Her.  
I cannot stand her. I really can't. She so much better than me and the shitty part is that she knows it. She walks around like she's the greatest thing in the world.. she looks at me like I'm nothing ..and i believe it. She's prettier than me, and everyone loves her.. but what really gets me is that she's skinnier than me. She is the BIGGEST trigger of my eating disorder. She makes me want to waste away to nothing. Right now everything is HER HER HER and i just want it to be me, just once. I just want her to walk into the room and look at me with that longing to be thin, the way i look at her everyday. Just once..
 
 
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
 
 
 
freetheravenfreetheraven on July 19th, 2012 03:57 pm (UTC)
This girl is NOT worth all of this energy you waste on her. It doesnt matter who she is. You need to strive for YOUR best expectaions. Why would you want to be her when she is so ugly. I mean on the 'inside'. To treat you like you are nothing is NEVER ok. You are a beautiful human being who has a purpose. I understand your need to be thin. We all do but you need to want it for the right reasons. Focus more on your happiness than the jealousy you have for this girl.
The spotlight has always been taken up by my older sister and she absolutely ruined my childhood because of how mean she was to me. I was literaly considered the "forgotten child". When I turned 13 I refused to look at her with envy. I saw beyond her snotty attitude and she is really some sad little girl taking it out on the world. I never want to be that.
There will always be people that you think are better or look better, but remember thats not true. You may have amazing qualities that other people may not have. Its how life is. Dont let this one person ruin your life.

Im sorry this is so long but I hate seeing people go through terrible things I had to and not do anything about it.

Keep Your Head Up!! (:
st0mach_acidst0mach_acid on July 19th, 2012 04:49 pm (UTC)
no really, thank you for taking the time to give me some great advice. the thing is idek if she's really like that or not. a good majority of it is in my head. I feel bad for being so jealous for almost no reason but i really cant help it. she's taking over my mind :c
freetheravenfreetheraven on July 19th, 2012 07:06 pm (UTC)
who is she?
Maybe if you talk to her you can get to understand her better and she can understand you.
st0mach_acidst0mach_acid on July 19th, 2012 07:16 pm (UTC)
Believe me, we used to be best friends. I'm tried enough on that part.
freetheravenfreetheraven on July 19th, 2012 07:30 pm (UTC)
If she doesnt want to be your friend then just dont worry about her. You can make so many new friends. You can control what you think and avoid thinking of those envious thoughts about her,
st0mach_acidst0mach_acid on July 20th, 2012 01:28 am (UTC)
I really wish it were that simple ):
penny_lanex3penny_lanex3 on July 20th, 2012 02:05 am (UTC)
hey i tried messaging you back but it wont let me because of your privacy setting :( im going to try adding you as a friend
st0mach_acidst0mach_acid on July 20th, 2012 04:06 pm (UTC)
okie dokie, and i'll change my setting i didnt know it was set like that lol
The Thin White Linejordanlgibson on September 11th, 2012 04:38 pm (UTC)
Why don't you bet her at her own game. Get skinner and just get more friends then her. Ignore her every chance you get and then she will be the one jealous and envious of you.